When my daughter was small we had that inevitable conversation about bullying. We talked about staying safe and discussed ways that her school prevents bullying. I really wanted to convey to her a larger understanding.
I told her, “Bullies aren’t happy people. Bullies don’t like themselves. They can’t look at themselves in the mirror. Trust me; you do not want to be that person.” Later, as she grew we expanded that concept to the larger areas of right and wrong.
I once read this wonderful quote on achievement and autonomy from another parent: “You don’t have to worry about making me proud of you. If you are proud of yourself, I will be proud of you.” It was so important to me that my daughter trust her own judgement. I told her “I don’t want you to be ‘good’ for us. If you were to do something truly wrong, your dad and I might be mad or upset, but we will get over it. YOU are the person who has to get up every day and look in the mirror. Every single day you decide who you want to be.”
I’ve been thinking about this a lot as I study the effects of fake news sites and I wonder how young people will ever be able to decipher any truth at all from media. Sure, I’m familiar with the statistics: The Smithsonian reported in 2015 that 27% of Americans didn’t read a single book last year. We know that 62% get their news from social media. And standard news sites have changed their models to compete or die against this onslaught. But even I was shocked (naïve, I know) when Forbes—and many other sources—report the majority of people share articles without reading them, going by headlines alone.
You shouldn’t be allowed to share without reading. You shouldn’t be allowed to vote without reading.
There’s an old adage that people hate to “be sold.” We don’t like feeling manipulated; there’s a reason that the old ‘hard sell’ of the past fell out of favor. Marketing moved on to aiming for the ‘sophisticated buyer’ who already understood the pros and cons, who now needed to understand the benefits exclusive to his lifestyle. This was drilled down further into specific demographics, creating branding congratulating you on your superior choices. Appealing to our vanity works, because appearing smart and successful is the doorway to MORE success. I say “appears” because we all know the stories about the wildly popular Facebook model who revealed the intense labor and fakeness required to pull it off. I’ve personally known successful entrepreneurs who reveal they feel like they’re faking it half the time. Humans just struggle with worth; it’s a moving target and part of the human condition.
If a conman came to your door and tried to manipulate you into giving up your food, your job, your beliefs, you’d call the police. You’d warn all your friends. Some of you would probably shoot him. But somehow we’ve turned into people who welcome that conman because we don’t want anyone to contradict our worldview. The absolute craziest part is that they don’t care about your worldview. When they are paid in clicks, all they care about is clicks. All they want is to create more clickbait headlines that make you Pavlov’s dog.
I’m old enough to remember when journalistic integrity wasn’t a punch line. Since journalists and reporters are people, of course mistakes are made. But once upon a time you had to prove that a story was compelling, worth telling, and adhered to the code of ethics. You had an editor whose name and career depended on the decisions he made, and you had an institution in an actual commercial building site whose very income depended on creating a quality product. These institutions took it seriously, as the Constitution intended. The people who reported weren’t promoted until they had a consistent body of work met under strict guidelines. They took responsibility.
The most important question you can ask yourself when you read a headline is: What feeling are they trying to elicit? Legitimate news doesn’t try to make you feel—it’s just the standard who, what, when, where details. And parse those details, because the way they get around deniability is to skew a single fact and surround it with nothing but fluff.
Everyone has an opinion on how to fix government. Not a wonk among us, but we have the answer! It’s in a tweet! It’s in a soundbite! We decry the lobbyists ruining Washington, while we pay the lobbyists in our own homes. The old cliché of the slick used car salesman is in your home, in your brain.
I used to think that a disengaged citizen was one who wasn’t actively writing congressmen, donating to causes, getting involved. But now I see that disengagement is the easiest of roads. I understand this. I get it. We have pressing matters to attend to like Pinterest. Cat memes. Facebook. God forbid we should have to get out of our chairs.
I don’t care what party you claim. I don’t care what color you are. I don’t care about your religion. Money has no color or creed. Get those lobbyists out of your home. Out of your brain.
We are in true danger of losing our democracy because we are too lazy to READ.
Go look in the mirror. Do it now.